Μια ενδιαφέρουσα προοπτική σε ένα θέμα τόσο γενικευμένο - σχεδόν ολικά αποδεκτο σαν παγκόσμια αλήθεια - μα στην ουσία τόσο προσωπικό για τον καθένα:
‘’The disease to please’’ by Dr. Harriet Braiker.
[...]Raise your hand if you had, in some point in your life not anymore of course, the disease to please. That you had to please people and women. It’s a serious psychological problem.[...]
‘’Ten commandment of people pleasing.’’
1) I should always do what others want, expect or need from me.
2) I should take care of everyone around me, whether they ask for help or not.
3) I should always listen to everyone’s problems and troubles and trying my best to solve them.
4) I should always be nice and never hurt anyone feelings.
5) I should always put other people first before me.
6) I should never say no to anyone who needs or request something from me.
7) I should never disappoint anyone and let others down, in my way.
8) I should always be happy and never show my negative feelings to others.
9) I should always try to please other people and make them happy.
10) I should never try to burden others with my own needs or problems. There’s really a hidden 11th commandment as well.
11) I should fulfil all of these ‘’should’’ and ‘’shouldn’t’’ expectations of myself completely and perfectly.
Do you identify yourself with this one? Here are the 7 ‘’deadly’’ ‘’should’s’’:
1) other people should appreciate and love me because of all the things I do for them.
2) Other people should always like me and approve of me, because of how hard I worked to please them.
3) Other people should never reject or criticise me because I always try to live up to their desires and expectations.
4) Other people should be kind and caring to me in return of how well I treat them.
5) Other people should never treat me unfairly or hurt me because I’m so nice to them.
6) Other people should never leave or abandoned me, because of how i make them need me.
7) Other people should never be angry with me because I would go to any length to avoid conflict, anger or confrontation with them. ‘’
Have you ever done that typical male thing of doing a lot of stuff for somebody and then getting upset with them because they didn’t appreciate them?[...]
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